Choices: Why only right or wrong?

Each day we are faced with difficult choices. Attempting to analyze how the decision we make could possibly have a role in the future. Having an unclear picture of the position I want to take on in life, and the career I want to pursue, I find myself constantly asking what is my purpose, and are the choices I have made good or bad? This existential question perplexes me as to why there is the need to define and redefine our lives based on choices that we have made, whether they were good or bad, why should it matter?

When asked to evaluate whether Masuji Ono, the narrator in the novel An Artist of the floating world, made good choices or bad choices, I found a prime example of existentialism. Although Ono is in a constant existential state evaluating his decisions seeking to define and redefine himself I am not going to say that the choices he made were neither good nor bad. Because everyone makes good and bad choices the importance does not lie with the fact of it being right or wrong, but with how he confronts and learns from the decision to help himself grow from the situation.

Regardless of whether a choice made may have been good or bad, there is no going back and changing it. It is quite possible that Ono’s decision to paint propaganda in support of the war may not have been the best, but he understands that he must move on and grow from that when he says to Dr. Saito at the miai that he is unhappy with the work he did “his paintings. His teachings. As you see…I admit this quite readily. All I can say is that at the time I acted in good faith. I believed in all sincerity I was achieving good for my fellow countrymen” (pg. 123). Looking back Ono is able to understand that this was a choice he made and although it may have been the right one at the time it was quickly deemed the wrong one when Japan lost the war. Previously made decisions are hard to be labeled as right or wrong, this is due to the fact that through life many situations arise which may change the position a choice holds from good to bad or vise versa.

As an “official advisor to the Committee of Unpatriotic Activities” Ono’s decision to have someone give Kuroda a “talking to for his own good” (p. 183) developed as one choices that had the biggest impact on Ono. Again the importance does not fall on the title of right or wrong choice, but the lessons learned from the situation. Earlier in the novel, Ono was rejected a meeting with Kuroda due to the instance that is later revealed in the story. After the decision was made Ono found that how he thought the situation may be handled was not the case. He feels guilty for the suffering that Kuroda had to endure due to his decision, but there is nothing he can do to go back and change it. He has no choice but to confront and accept the decision he made and grow from it.

Ono is a character well known for acting in good faith, and with this in mind should there be such choices labeled as right or wrong? Matsuda has a very good point when he says to Ono “We at least acted on what we believed and did our utmost. It’s just that in the end we turned out to be ordinary men. Ordinary men with no special gifts of insight” (pg. 200). This is a very valid point to every person making choices. There is no way to know if in the future the choices that were made will be right or wrong, good or bad. Ono comes to terms with this existential question when he states “we have the satisfaction of knowing that whatever we did, we did at the time in the best of faith. Of course, we took some bold steps and often did things with much single mindedness; but this is surely preferable to never putting one’s convictions to the test, for lack of will or courage”(pg. 202).

Life is full of risks. Some of the biggest risks are the decisions that we are faced with making. So really there is no right or wrong, good or bad choice. There is only what you do about the previous choices that were made. Every person has the existential question did I make the right choice, but in the end why does it matter? The decision has been made and there is not going back to change it. So why does it matter? Actually, it doesn’t as long as you can keep an open mind, learn, grow and accept the responsibilities from the choices you made.